My marriage is very important to me. Did you know that parents of special needs children have a high divorce rate? The stresses that come with it can easily tear couples apart. I do what I can to protect mine by scheduling time with my husband and by studying the bible and listening to what God has to say about marriage.
I'm currently studying the book of Esther. The beginning of the book introduces us to King Xerxes and Queen Vashti. Xerxes had invited a bunch of nobles and military leaders to their home in order to show all that he had obtained and his strength in leadership for 180 days! After the 180 days he held a banquet for these men and his wife Vashti held one for their wives for 7 days. Near the end of the 7 days Xerxes, being inebriated along with all of his guests, summons his wife. She refuses and he turns furious. Looking at who was invited and what was going on during this time, we are under the assumption that this party is a political move to prove his strength and worthiness to conquer other lands. So, when Vashti refuses, not only is she showing Xerxes disrespect, but she is also terribly embarrassing him in front of his guests.
Looking at Vashti's point of view, it is possible that Vashti may have been fighting for her dignity by refusing Xerxes summons. Are we to fight for our dignity or humble ourselves before God? As wives, we are the queens of our homes, but our husbands are the kings. It is in our best interest to submit to our husbands in obedience to God. If it is in our power to submit to our husband's requests (that are in line with God and/or are non-threatening) then we should do so. God will bless us and bring justice to any wrongdoing done toward us.
It is possible that the bad advice that Xerxes takes after Vashti's refusal is Xerxes' punishment for summoning her the way he did. Just as it was Vashti's punishment to be banished from the king's presence and a new queen chosen in her place was her punishment for disrespecting her husband in public.
Colossians 3:18 says "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."
Ephesians 5:33 says "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
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